Transforming Jealousy

Jealousy stems from a lack of loving intentions, unfulfilled needs, and possibly even fear.   If you want to reverse the process of jealousy, work your way through the jealous feeling to discover the underlying fear or need that you are having.  Then try your best to understand and transform it. 

For example, if you are witnessing your relationship partner showing affection for another person, you may feel jealous.  You can then ask yourself what the underlying reason for your jealousy is.  Writing about your feelings can be tremendously helpful.  How does the partner’s behavior make you feel?  Do you feel disrespected?  Do you feel ignored or abandoned?  Most often some sort of fear is responsible for jealousy.   Do you not feel good enough?  Don’t stay stuck in or deny the jealous state—it will eat away at you.

Instead, look closely at what the jealousy is about and deal with those issues and questions.  Do you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner or friend?  Do you need to be reassured about your fears?  Do you need to reassure yourself and/or seek support from others to understand the situation more objectively?